November 17th, 2010

Dear Alex,

Today you seem sad. We went to get cloth to make you a yoga bag and while you were as gracious and polite and grateful as ever, you seemed a bit different tonight. I wonder if you are missing your friends and family in Tucson. I wonder if things are going well for you at school. My mind races and I think of a million different things I could try to say or do to make your move here better. I always want to buy you things and make you feel comfortable here but I know that things don't fix everything.

I was thinking tonight about my own teenage years and all the time I spent away from my parents. I was so lucky to have a close adult friend that wasn't a parent who stepped in and was just a friend to me. I wish I knew what to do to be that for you. I wonder if you will be upset if I ask you about Jon or school or friends.

I want to try to be there for you but I'm afraid of doing the wrong thing. I'm afraid giving the impression that I'm trying to replace your mom. I know she's your mom and I never want to take her place. But maybe I can be your friend. I'm looking for the words to say and the things to do that will let you see that I care about you. I'm not good at this and I'm pretty scared. I'm scared of giving you a reason to hate me.

But as of today, I've decided to be more brave. I will try to hug you more often. I will ask more questions and take more interest in your life at school and with friends and in Tucson. I will try to avoid talking negatively about anything - I don't want to dump anything on you, you are not my place to vent. I will seek out the things you do that I admire and I will work on telling you.

You are a great girl, Alex and I do have a lot of admiration for you. I'm sorry this time in life is hard. I hope it gets easier and I hope that even if it is hard now, you might someday look back on it with contentment.

Love you,
Heather